Gripping the Armrests? Here's What You're Actually Doing
Written by Alex Gervash, commercial pilot (31 years) and fear of flying specialist (18 years, 16,000+ cases treated)
Gripping the armrests feels instinctive, but it's actually making your fear worse. Here's what to do instead.
When turbulence hits, do you grip the armrests with white knuckles?
It feels instinctive. Like you're keeping yourself safe. But here's what's actually happening:
Your body is sending a message to your brain: "I'm in danger. I need to hold on for dear life."
Your amygdala receives this signal and thinks: "Oh no, they're gripping like their life depends on it. This MUST be dangerous. Release more adrenaline!"
The fear intensifies. Not because the turbulence got worse, but because you told your body it was life-threatening.
The plane doesn't need you to hold it together. It's designed to handle turbulence. Your grip changes nothing about the flight. It only changes how afraid you feel.
What to do instead? Notice the urge to grip. Acknowledge it. Then, even if it feels counterintuitive, try softening your hands. Let your palms open slightly.
You're teaching your nervous system: "This is uncomfortable, but not dangerous. I don't need to brace for impact."
Small shift. Massive difference.
In Short
Gripping the armrests feels instinctive, but it's actually making your fear worse. Here's what to do instead.
Trained in psychology and trauma therapy (EMDR, Somatic Experiencing)
Founder of phobia.aero & SkyGuru App
With over 31 years of experience as a commercial pilot, Alex Gervash provides a unique pilot perspective that bridges the gap between cockpit knowledge and mental well-being. A specialist in psychology and trauma therapy, Alex has guided over 16,000 individuals through successful aerophobia therapy by utilizing evidence-based techniques like polyvagal theory to calm the nervous system. He is the innovator behind the SkyGuru app, which supports over 200,000 users with real-time turbulence explained, and he continues to provide comprehensive resources for overcoming a fear of flying at phobia.aero. His integrated approach ensures that passengers can transform their aerophobia into a sense of grounded confidence through professional aviation insights.
